.

weavemunchers:

IM CRYING I JUST FOUND THIS ON INSTAGRAM
benedick-hiddlestoner:

the-once-and-spooky-ship:

#IT’S NOT A PHASE MOM #IT’S PUNK ROCK AND IT’S MY LIFE #IT’S WHO I AM #IT’S THE BLOOD IN MY VEINS AND THE BEATING OF MY HEART #LEAVE ME ALONE

#ITS NOT A PAHSE MOM #ITS PUNK SPOCK AND ITS MY LIFE 
bloodpactgirlscout:

so the saddest shortest story is attributed to hemingway:
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."
and this came to me at breakfast and i thought it was hilarious. 

popmychieri:

gaydicks420:

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

(via stoneheartedkilljoy)

the-rogue-0f-light:

conquerorwurm:

seifukucat:

can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person

Is this a comic? This should be a comic.

"no stupid, oh my god. no just… just turn… fuck. don’t wander over there, you’re gonna fall down the… aaand there he goes………….. moron.”

(via stoneheartedkilljoy)

stability:

sinnersdisguise:

stability:

By the time I have kids they’re literally going to be buying air

fun fact: that “air” is nitrogen that keeps your chips fresh

Fun fact: there were three chips in that bag. Three.

hahawhore:

friend: you dropped something

me: oh

image

thanks

(via clestroying)

octopusheart:

dendropsyche:

sharped0:

clientsfromhell:

Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.

Me: What black pen?

Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.

Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?

Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.

this almost made me cry

this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.

I feel ill

(via stoneheartedkilljoy)

marathemara:

iizanimeaddict:

My dad just came into my room and shouted at me in Klingon.

Am I more embarrassed that he did that or that I know he said I was a disappointment to the empire?

You should be most embarrassed that you’re a disappointment to the empire.

(via stoneheartedkilljoy)

doctorwhoaddicts:

samandriells:

mishathekitten:

alltimemoy:

67chevyimpala:

lavastormsw:

vriksaserket:

lets play a game called how close can you get to your friend without becoming a gay couple

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I’m sorry, but I think Doctor Who wins this game.

(Source: beeblejuice, via stoneheartedkilljoy)

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